As I was driving home from work today I was listening to Beyonce’s “Ring the Alarm” and it made me think. I am sure that most women (myself included) have been in a relationship where we know the man is doing wrong or we know that things just won’t work but we have invested so much in it that we can’t let go. When is enough really enough? When do you realize that “Ok, I am just wasting my time and I am investing way too much”? We as women tend to stay in these relationships that we know aren’t going to work because we “think” that he’ll change and that we will be the ONE woman that will change him. We can’t change anyone, the only person who can change someone is….themselves.
We go over and beyond (which is a huge mistake) but I am guilty of this as well. We put up with so much just to make things work but the more glue you keep putting on the same broken vase will not make it flawless. We also fear that investing so much and leaving means that the next woman will come along and reap the benefits of everything you went through; that he will change for the next woman and give her everything that you’ve wanted from him. Beyonce says “Ring the alarm, I been through this too long. But I’ll be damned if I see another chick on your arm…” then she says “I don’t want you but I want it and I can’t let it go”. I can say that I have felt this way, disliking him so much that you hate him and wanting nothing to do with him but you just don’t want anyone else to have him. You would rather live in it than move on.
We want the idea of being with someone and when we think we found it in a person and it turns out that we are wrong, we don’t want to face reality. We force it; yes, as ladies we force it. Even if we know he is no good we still force it then are surprised when he shows us who he really is. Some of us just live the life that all things are good and we don’t want the world to see that things aren’t really what they seem. This world is filled with people who live the life of facades; but lets go back to the original question. When is enough enough? Maybe when you really get to that fed up point. It shouldn’t take for you to get to that fed up point for you to realize when to walk away. I have said this plenty of times, put yourself first and don’t just settle for the amount of time that you have spent with this person. The advice I was given years ago was to make a final decision on what I want my life to be like and with who; you cannot wait and let these important years of your life to pass you back then regret it all later. Take advantage of your prime now, worry less about what female will be on his arm after you and worry more about what your next move is!