Day in the Life…
Today I met with my new business mentor for the first time. I don’t know what it is, but I seem to always need reassurance because I can’t myself second guessing myself on everything I do. I know what my passion is, and I know what my purpose is, but it seems that imposter syndrome takes over and I don’t believe in myself when it matters. I have everything in place to fulfill what I need to fulfill but I stop myself in my tracks because I lose faith in myself. The worst thing that anyone can do is lose faith in yourself. Not believing in yourself is the worst thing that you can do to yourself. Meeting with my mentor today solidified everything that I’ve been doing and everything I’ve been working towards. The past few days I have been doing a lot of self-reflecting in preparation for this meeting with this mentor. I have come to the confusion that I developed a social anxiety and anxiety within myself where I almost go into a dark hole when it comes to putting myself or my craft out there. Even explaining this now is a bit difficult, but I second guess the words that come out my mouth. I don’t know if this stems from postpartum depression coupled with the pandemic years ago at the same time. But I came out of these things a completely different person. Although I still have my moments where I find myself slipping back into it because let’s be honest, it’s not gone 100%. But it still affects me in so many ways, and it has almost crippled me. Crippled me into not fulfilling my purpose and has left me feeling unfulfilled. My purpose and passion are just sitting there on the table waiting for me to snap out of it and pick it back up do what I am meant to do.
Being a busy working mom of two, I don’t always have time to think. My days are usually chaotic with ripping and running and life throws the curveballs here and there. I don’t always have time to turn my brain off and live in the present. I recorded this voice note while driving my daughter to the doctor because she has been sick the past few days and I have been on complete mommy mode and working woman mode at the same time. I never allow myself to be vulnerable and open, but I decided to today. Because I know there is another mom who feels or has felt as I do. I could have pulled out my camera and vlogged this but to be honest, that’s not my first thought when starting my day, (I’m learning though). I decided to go back to my original form of therapy for my crazy days, writing. In hopes of reaching out and letting you know that you’re not alone in your busy days. So, whether it being written or recorded I will share my moments more with you and hopefully it will help brighten up your day and you can share your moments with me. I vow this to myself and to you. What do you vow?
